Q. I love my close one—she is my family member, my brother’s wife. I was always good to her, never hated, never wished anything bad.” I always stood up for her. It might be possible that I was wrong from a certain point of view, but when I asked others, they said, “Yes, you were right, and she was wrong.”
But she hates me for some reasons. I don’t hate her. Still, she has said bad things about me and portrayed a negative image of me, making me look like the villain in her story. Even when I do good things for her, she doesn’t value them. She says she doesn’t have any problem with me, but deep down, she holds things in her mind and brings them up at unusual times.
This gives me anxiety throughout the day. I can’t focus on my work or studies, and I feel emotionally drained. I take stress all day, and my family also feels stressed because of her behavior. She thinks I’m not supportive, even though I’ve supported her many times—something she herself has accepted in the past.
Now, I’m fed up. I am tired of getting stuck in the same old emotional drama. I just want to focus on building my career, improving my mental health, and creating a peaceful life for myself.
Understanding the Core Issue
I can clearly understand that there is some misunderstanding between both of you. Right now, I feel you are facing two major problems:
- The person is very close to you, and her words deeply hurt and affect your emotions.
- These emotional conflicts are negatively impacting your focus, work, and mental health. You’re carrying stress and anxiety everyday.
Let’s Deal with the First Problem
Every person believes they are right in their own way. That could be true for you as well. And it’s also possible that she feels she is right from her point of view. It’s all about different perspectives.
Let’s now look at two possible situations:
Situation 1: You are right, and she is completely wrong
You’ve done many good things for her, yet she thinks you’re not supportive. Sometimes she behaves nicely, and other times not. She has said hurtful things to you—even though you’ve shown love and respect. But still, she hates you.
She’s a family member, and unfortunately, you cannot completely avoid her. You live under the same roof.
Yes, the situation is hard. But remember this:
I haven’t heard her version, and as a rule, I never make final judgments without knowing both sides.
That being said, I want to acknowledge you—
You are kind. You are supportive. These are your strengths. Don’t lose these qualities. These are values your family has given you. Keep them safe.
How to Protect Your Peace and Mental Well-being
- Giving too much importance to someone who constantly misunderstands you is not wise.
- Some people misuse your kindness and eventually stop valuing you.
- Deep down, you already know that no matter what you do, she might never change her opinion about you.
So, stop overgiving for now.
- The best response in such cases is silence.
- And if she’s a family member you must talk to, keep it limited and polite.
Her thoughts, opinions, and unpredictable behavior should not control your peace. Don’t give anyone so much emotional power that they can hurt you
Whenever You Feel Overwhelmed, Ask Yourself:
- Is this person permanent or temporary in your life?
- If permanent but toxic, it’s okay to take a step back. Protect your mental health.
- If temporary, don’t overthink. This relationship won’t last forever.
- Who is your priority—you or the person who hurts you again and again?
- If she’s not your priority, don’t waste your time, energy, or mental space.
- Remind yourself:
- Your life is precious.
- Your time is limited.
- You matter more than this conflict.
Focus on Your Present and Priorities
Your priority list should include:
- ✅ Career growth
- ✅ Skill building
- ✅ Learning and reading
- ✅ Mental health
- ✅ Self-image and future goals
Don’t let negative people enter your productive space.
Give your time and energy to meaningful goals and positive people.
How to Respond to Negative Remarks
Whenever someone says something negative about you, just ignore.
Silence is the best response.
And if you ever feel the need to reply, say:
“This is not the right time. One day, my work and success will answer you.”
Never expect anything from people who don’t value you. It’ll only lead to disappointment.
Situation 2: You May Be Partially Wrong
If someday you get a chance to hear her side of the story and you feel you’ve made a mistake, accept it gracefully.
- Learn from it.
- Don’t repeat it.
- Let it go.
- Don’t hold grudges.
Keep your focus on your present and future—not on past conflicts.
Final Thought
Your success is just a few steps away from your starting point. The more you focus on your personal growth, the less power negativity will have over you.
We’re Here for You
If this response doesn’t fully satisfy you or if you’d like to share more, feel free to express your thoughts.
We’re here to listen and support you.